The way I loved you'
by BritishNinjaChick
Summary: this is a song fic about Tony, Ziva and Michael. It is put to the song 'The way i loved you' by Taylor Swift and is basically how Ziva feels while she is dating Michael but still in love with Tony. One-Shot.


**"The Way I Loved You"**

**First, I would like to apologise to ProspektsMarch161 (aka Lottie) for encroaching on her territory, and if she wants me to, I will remove it immediately, because she is a way better writer than I am and compared to her stuff, this is kinda crap. So yeah.**

**Second, I was listening to the Taylor Swift CD I borrowed off Emma, and finally got the meaning of this song, and my mind jumped to Tony and Ziva and her new supposed boyfriend. I would really suggest you listen to this song, either while reading, or at some point, just so you get the different emotions, but it's up to you. So please read and review and tell me what you think. ;)**

_He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous_

Ziva David knew she was lucky. _Very_ lucky. There were so few guys like Michael in the world. And even less that would ever even think of dating her. Even with a rich father.

When she had first introduced him to the few female friends she had back in Israel, she had almost been murdered. They were furious that she had found such a perfect guy. It was hard to keep a relationship going in their business. Men were either too afraid of you, bad at commitment, or dead. Michael worked for her father with a high-status desk job and had told one of her married friends that he was ready to settle down. Danita had been so happy for Ziva. She had long been telling her to leave her work and find someone nice to settle down with. And Michael was certainly _nice_.

_  
He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
I couldn't ask for anything better _

She knew she should be happy. After three months of dating, he had told her he loved her. Exactly when she needed to know someone was there for her. Perfect timing. And there really wasn't anything more she could ask for. But if there was, she knew he would do anything to get it for her.

Except, it still wasn't him she wished for beside her. After she had witnessed a child murdered on her last mission, she had needed a shoulder to cry on, and he had been there. But she had needed someone else. She still did.

There was nothing she could do about it. The team may be back, but she was still dating Michael. She still travelled back to Israel to see him. Because he was perfect for her.

_He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says you look beautiful tonight  
And I feel perfectly fine _

And she did. She was dressed in her best dress, makeup perfectly applied. Normally she would feel different when like this, more confident. But all she felt was fine.

Every time he flattered her, she felt slightly embarrassed. She never felt beautiful herself, although she added extra effort to her appearance every morning. There was really only one person who could still make her feel pretty anymore. But she was fine. She felt the love of the man beside her and he wasn't going to give up on her.

She was fine.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name_

She tossed once more in her bed, glaring up at the ceiling. Rolling over, she checked the time and groaned as she realised it was only 0200 in the morning. Giving up, she lay flat on her back and rubbed her face with her hands.

She hated him. She really did. _He_ did this to her, stopped her sleep. He was all she could think about. His short, brown hair, his bright green eyes. His smile, oh, his smile. She found it so hard to do anything with him around, but she had to. She was his partner. And he haunted her every thought.

'Oh, Tony! Why won't you leave me alone?! Why, why, why?!'

_You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you _

God, yes. That was completely true. She had figured it out a long time ago, that she was in love with Tony DiNozzo. And that was the problem. She was so in love with him, she just couldn't think of anyone else. It made her act in ways that she was quite certain she never would if it were not for him. Like that air guitar thing. She had acted childish and insanely, just so she could be that teensy bit closer to him. And the odd thing was, she didn't feel embarrassed about it.

_Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you _

That was how she felt. As though she was just falling to pieces in front of him. Her heart ached every time she saw him. She could feel adrenaline pulsing through her veins every time he was near, each time he whispered in her ear.

She watched him, as she finished an email to Michael. He glanced up and bright green met chocolate brown. Each felt the jolt of energy pass between them. Each wanted to act on it, but neither was

brave enough. Both could see the invisible barrier Michael made. And it was breaking her heart.

_He respects my space  
And never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will _

Michael called every day, without fail, at 2200hours. He never missed the time. But for some reason, when she didn't pick up, he never panicked, never accused her of being unfaithful. He would simply smile and say he understood that sometimes, people just needed their own head space.

Tony never did that. They were best friends, but when she was worried about him, he never called. Half the time, she had no idea whether he was even alive. When he had been with Jeanne, she had been seriously scared that maybe, he had had a relapse to the plague, but he didn't try to reassure her.

And then, when she had had such a hard day, that she just needed to be alone, he would be there, barging into her apartment as though he lived there. He never left her alone. Most nights, she would end up cooking dinner for them both before starting a movie. Oddly enough, by the time she went to bed, she always felt better about everything. Even though Michael gave her her space, it was not really what she needed. She needed distractions. Tony always managed to take her mind off of what ever was bothering her.

_He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing  
And I'm comfortable _

Her mother loved him, thought he was perfect. Exactly what her daughter needed. A man who might finally change her to the pretty, girly daughter she had always wanted.

Her father was his boss, so there was always something for them to talk about. Aba thought he was a good match for her, but he could see she was not completely into the relationship. It worried him slightly. But at least she was happy. His daughter deserved to be happy.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain _

_And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you _

Tony was staring at her from across the bullpen. She felt her heart beat accelerate.

'Hey, Zee-vah? Whatcha doing tonight? Wanna go out for drinks?' She suppressed a shiver as he extended the syllables in her name. She loved when he did that.

'I do not think so, Tony.' Her heart rate sank as she realised she had to talk to Michael today. She had been avoiding him lately, not wanting to speak with him. She would have to, or he would finally get worried and maybe ask one of her father's spies to check up on her. Then he would find out about Tony and he would probably take it the wrong way.

'Come on, Ziva. Please? Just one drink.' he flashed his famous DiNozzo smile and she relented. She could not resist.

'Alright Tony. One drink. That is all.'

'Why are you so desperate to get home, David? Got someone waiting for ya?' He grinned again although something about it was off slightly.

She rolled her eyes. 'Why must you always poke your head into other people's business? I has nothing to do with you.'

'Nose, Zee-vah. Poke your nose. And it does have something to do with me. I'm your partner. I need to be sure we're on top form when we're in the field, so that means I should know if you're going to be having a sleepless night. I've gotta keep both of us safe.' He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.

'I can promise you, I will be sleeping perfectly well tonight. Thank you for your concern,' she added sarcastically.

_Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you _

Why had she agreed to go with him? The case had taken longer than expected and it was almost 2100. There was no way she could have a drink and get home in time to catch Michael's call. She should cancel her plans with Tony. Even as she thought it, she knew she wouldn't. It had been so long since they had last 'hung out'. She had missed their movie nights and endless drinking games. They used to go after every case. Since she came back from Israel, they rarely met outside of work at all.

That was why she found herself collecting her bag and joining Tony as he stood by the elevator. He instantly started talking about some film or other. It made her smile. He saw it creep slowly across her face and gave a small half smile himself. She was always beautiful, except when she smiled, he thought. When she smiled, she was radiant.

_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
And my heart's not breaking  
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all _

Her mobile rang as she laughed at Tony's idiocy. She answered it and her smile faltered. Tony watched her carefully as she listened to the person on the other end of the line.

'No, Michael, I am fine. I am just out with friends. We had a hard case today. I am fine. I will call you tomorrow,' she sighed as she hung up. Her smile returned but Tony could tell it was forced.

As she looked at Tony, she realised he had stiffened slightly. The very mention of Michael had put up that invisible wall that had almost been forgotten.

She felt no guilt at lying to Michael, she never really felt anything at all towards him. She only felt sad that she had obviously made Tony so uncomfortable.

_And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating  
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now _

Seconds later, the awkwardness was gone and they had dared each other into a drinking game. She threw back another shot as Tony stood up and started singing 'Luck be a Lady' very loudly for a dare. Neither could stop their giggles as they collapsed against each other.

The bell for final orders sounded and the bar started closing. Leaning against each other, they started the long, drunk walk home.

_I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain _

They had been walking for almost ten minutes when Ziva felt something wet land on her cheek. Glancing up at the sky, she saw the dark, storm clouds gathering over head. She felt another drop land on her arm this time.

_It's 2am and I'm cursing your name _

'Damn it, Tony! It is raining! We will be soaked!' she laughed slightly.

Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into him. He didn't really know why he had done it, something about keeping her out of the rain. His brain wasn't really working very well, clouded as it was with alcohol.

_I'm so in love that I acted insane _

Time seemed to slow as she collided with him, her hands fattening themselves against his chest. She found herself looking up into those startling green eyes again and every other thought in her head just evaporated.

The instant her hands had slapped onto his chest, he felt an electric shock run through him. All he could think of was how beautiful she looked there, with the rain coming down, soaking her hair and clothes. He found himself leaning forwards ever so slightly and she raised head towards his, just as slowly. The gap between them was only a few millimeters. Both could feel the tension they had built up over the years making the air around them thick and electrified. Or maybe that was the storm, now opened to its full extent. Both had wanted this for so long.

He closed the gap between them.

_And that's the way I loved you _

His lips pressed against hers and she kissed back with equal desperation, all the passion built up over the last four years, poured into this one kiss.

He licked her bottom lip and she instantly opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. They had waited so long. It was even better than either had ever imagined.

_Breaking down and coming undone _

She felt like, in that one moment, he could see everything about her. All those things she had hidden from everyone, all those walls she had put up to protect herself came tumbling down at the first touch of his lips to hers. She never wanted this moment to end.

_It's a roller coaster kinda rush _

His heart was racing as he tangled his fingers in to her hair, pulling her closer to him. He could feel her own heart racing against his chest and knew she felt the same way. It was as though she was exploring his very soul with that kiss. And he never wanted it to end.

_And I never knew I could feel that much _

Neither had ever felt like this before, not with Jeanne, definitely not with Michael. It was like their hearts were connected by a thin piece of string and all their feelings were intensified because of it.

Everything else was forgotten. All that mattered was then and now. Both of them together.

_And that's the way I loved you oh, oh_

They finally broke apart, panting heavily. They stared hard at each other, trying to work out what this was. In truth, they both knew what it was, but they needed to know the other felt the same.

_And that's the way I loved you oh, oh _

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Tony grinned at Ziva. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling his coat over her to try and keep her dry, which was pointless in that they were both completely drenched. Neither minded though. They were just enjoying their closeness.

_Never knew I could feel that much _

Ziva knew she had found what she needed. She finally had what she wanted. Tony. She no longer cared what Michael thought, or even what her father would say. She no longer felt just 'fine'. She felt happy, confused and exhilarated all at the same time. But most of all, she felt in love and she knew it would work.

_And that's the way I loved you._


End file.
